these cities, our graves

fuck

so i’ve been back in the country since tuesday, 

i already miss the states. D:

i’m not looking forward to going back to work.. i just am over this town, these people.

i want new ones.

last night was fun even though i had a temperature and felt like shit.

i need more nights and days like that. good music, good friends and laughter.

hopefully tomorrow will be good also. 

i saw my dog finally yesterday, she’s happy… and now i dont know if she wants to come home. she has aged so much and is so grey around the muzzle and eyes now..

i miss her terribly. 

kitkat is home now and she’s back to being strangely affectionate and freaking me out.. due to the fact the last thirteen years of our living together she has hated my guts. haha.

on another note, i don’t understand how men can be such complete creeps, i have never felt so violated as i did the other day. and terrified. literally i was shaking.

people are stupid and it only makes me want to stay home and watch day time soaps rather than go out into the real world. 

on the other hand, i am blessed to know some amazing people and have an amazing, yet dis-functional family. 

thank you Lord. <3 

but i don’t want you that bad.

no i don’t want you that bad.

LOS ANGELES- THE AUDITION

She said, 
“I’m jealous of Los Angeles, she gets to keep you for a month or two
And I don’t know if I can handle this the thought of being without you.”

I know it’s cold, but baby maybe we can stay a little longer
Then warm up those toes, the last thing we need is to blow our cover
And I know it’s tough to reconsider what you thought was love
But I’m so proud of all the plans you’re speaking of

Lay with me stay with me now, oh
‘Cause you are all I think about

She said, “I’m jealous of Los Angeles, she gets to keep you for a month or two
And I don’t know if I can handle this the thought of being without you.”
She said, “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been, it’s so much harder, but I guess we’ll see
If I can prove myself wrong, show you I can be stronger than we thought that I would be.”

I said, “Let’s go and baby, maybe I can show you what you need to know
And how to cope the citizens can listen in but they will never know
About this love and just how stronger we can be
So what if they don’t like the plans that we’ve been speaking of?”

I’ll crave your kiss while you’re gone, oh
So much I’m missing that alone

She said, “I’m jealous of Los Angeles she gets to keep you for a month or two
And I don’t know if I can handle this the thought of being without you.”
She said, “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been it’s so much harder, but I guess we’ll see
If I can prove myself wrong, show you I can be stronger than we thought that I would be.”

And I can commit to change
(I said I’m sorry for the way I’ve been)
If you can promise to stay the same
(It’s so much harder than I thought it’d be)
And never let this fade
(I said I’m sorry for the way I’ve been)
Baby, just promise to stay the same
(It’s so much harder than I thought it’d be)

She said, “I’m jealous of Los Angeles she gets to keep you for a month or two
And now I know that I can handle this the thought of being without you.”
She said, “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been it’s so much harder, but I guess we’ll see
If I can prove myself wrong, show you I can be stronger than we thought that I would be.”